You want to grow houseplants successfully? Embrace the ugly phase.

I believe many houseplant growers, particularly beginners, think that successful hobbyists grow plants that are always beautiful.

I’m here to tell you it is a complete myth, and I blame it mostly on social media.

One of the hardships of becoming a houseplant lover in today’s world is living in the social media era, where perfection seems normal. It’s not.

We all have ugly phases, our plants included. And knowing this will help you shift your approach to plant care and media consumption. Let me explain.

The Role of Perfectionism when Growing Living Things

*Snowflake Geranium – This plant always looks a little wonky, but I love the lemony scent, variegated leaves, and that I can keep it alive!*

Plants are living things. They go through awkward teenage phases just like we do. We can’t always look our best, and neither can our plants. That’s life.

You may need to give your plant a major pruning that will, in the long run, help it maintain health and vigor.

Pruning allows stems and trunks to thicken and become stronger, to regrow new, fresh leaves, to branch out, and to take on new, pleasing shapes.

However, that prune job might look like a bad haircut for now.

Your plants thrive during certain seasons and look kinda drab during others. Particularly if these plants go dormant in the summer or winter.

Your plants may look a bit worse for wear after a bout with pests or another health issue.

This is not a reflection of the plant’s life or potential, but just a reflection of where it is at in this moment.

My Purple Oxalis: The photos above show my purple oxalis. Both of these are its normal states throughout the years. This plant has been with me since 2009, when a third-grade student of mine gave it to me. The plant eventually gets a bit ugly and awkward during the year, and I cut it back and let it regrow.

It’s currently bald as I’m writing this. The photos above are from prior years.

While social media is a wonderful way to find houseplant community and information, it is also a highly curated environment.

People can focus their online presence on gorgeous plants because they get to choose what to capture AND what to leave behind the camera.

In theory, this makes a lot of sense. Why would we want to take a picture of that plant that isn’t doing well and looks sickly?

The problem, though, is that many of us are looking at someone else’s social media feed and judging our own homes, houseplants, and growing skills based on it.

We completely forget that we have no idea what else is hiding behind the camera.

We do not know how many plants are struggling, how many have died, how many are pest-ridden, how many they’ve paid to replace, and so on.

And this isn’t a judgment either! We all lose plants, replace them, deal with pests, and have plants that struggle. But it’s easy to forget that our favorite influencers do too.

My Thai Pink Lipstick Plant

The picture below is my Thai Pink Lipstick plant. My bunnies were out running and ate my plant’s long vines down to the nubs on one side and halfway down on the other. Apparently, they really loved this plant.

It was pretty heartbreaking for me because this particular plant had buds for the first time, and they ate them right through.

Now I wait (somewhat) patiently for the plant to regrow and rebuild.